My cancer scare

Frist and for most I want to say I’m fine and I thank God for that. I have been very inconsistent on my blog lately and there are a lot of things I need to share. This is one of them.

Thinking you might have cancer is one of the hardest things to go thru mentally I suppose. I am 19 years old and I was having severe headaches. The kind that make daily tasks almost impossible.


After going to many doctors and hospitals, I got medication. The medication did help the symptoms. Because the headaches where located on the back of my head doctors thought it could be a tumor.

When you hear the word tumor a lot of things go thru your head. The first thing I thought  of was loosing my hair. After they told me I just let it sink in and started doing my own research.

Cancer is a group of infected cells with the potential to multiply, not all tumors could multiply. When I read that I stated thinking of multiplication in my brain and how much of my mental end physical function I actually could loose if I had a tumor.

I guess you can say I took a very rational approach to it, when things get hard that’s how I tend to get. So I read more about the brain and it’s functions, realising I have a significant intrest in the human body. With surprised me because up to this point I thought I didn’t really like biology.

Last Week

Last week I went to the hospital for a CAT scan. Yes, it really is as big and as scary as in the movies. After they did the scan they told me I didn’t have a tumor and I am fine and I am so thankful.


I am at home on medication for my headaches because of the side effects.

I decided to share this because I want to be open and honest with you.

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The new blog

Blogging is an art form on it’s own. It’s a really easy way to reach people with topics that not only intrest you but can also help others. I fell in love with blogging because I wanted to inspire people that looked like me and had the same condition.

For a full year I have been talking about fashion and beauty primarily. I saw demand but no supply that’s why I started my blog.  It’s an interesting topic but I don’t feel like it’s part of my personality anymore. I have fallen in love with learning more then ever before. My education has become my biggest priority and my biggest obsession.

The past couple of months I haven’t been posing because I didn’t know what to talk about. After my trip to Berlin I realised how importent transparency is to move forward.

In the center of Berlin there’s a building named the Reichstag. From the outside it looks like an old building but when you enter it’s a new construction. Instead of letting go of the old structure that was perfect they build a new construction inside. Remembering  where they started but letting go of the past system.

When I saw that building something changed. The old blog was kind of working but now I want a new transparent and beautiful system that everyone can see.  Just like the Reichstag, I’m using the old foundation to build something new and beautiful.

Because I’ve changed I want my blog to grow with me. Now you will be able to find book & movie reviews and my interpretation of different topics regarding health, advice& communication, technology&recent development and my life.

So this is a little post to challenge you to explore all the topics you care about and write about them;


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Why you should always be learning

People always say that being an over achiever is bad. I am hire to tell you it isn’t. Not only is it a good thing. It is one of the things that keep me going.

I love research, and the minut I say this it might seam like an understatement. But I am that person that looks up everything. When someone talks about something and I don’t know about it, I look it up to figure out what it exactly is.

This means that consuming information is one of my biggest hobbies in an odd sense. And for a while I stopped doing that and started limiting myself to what I was learning in school. Not because I didn’t want to know more but because people told me to.

Learning isn’t studying

Think about it. Not everyone loves to study and I get that. Yes, I am kind of a nerd hey 🙂 But regardless of that we like to put learning and studying in the same category. Studying is trying to cram information. When learning is something you do every day, just by asking questions and talking to people.

Any information is good information

Wether you are learning something just because you like it or because someone told you so. The resisters towards a subject can really ruin everything.  All information you absorb is good. People say that some skills they learn in school won’t be useful in later life. According to me they are, every single thing you learn is a good thing. There is nothing like useless information if you look at it the right way.

No one is stupid

Einstein and a relatively small brain mass.  This might surprise you, I know I was shocked when I read it. This made me realise that it’s what you do whit information that counts not what you are genetically blessed with.  The more you are going to try to expose yourself to information, the more you will learn. It’s importent to make different connections in your brain to be ‘smarter’ and this you can do by just being curious.



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Everything about my instagram from modelling tips to editing secrets



Instagram, the best social media network on the planet. Almost 3k followers and 1 year on, let’s just say I am not doing to bad. Because I am a model I can share all the crazy exiting posing secrets 😉

The feed

I’ve had all types of feeds: grey, blue, saturated, dark, bright, pink… But what works best? The pictures that don’t look too edited. It might surprise you but I only use afterlight and facetone to edit. No crazy filters because that just doesn’t work anymore!

The apps

As I mentioned I use afterlight and facetune.  Both are paid apps and to be honest I didn’t want to pay for them in the beginning. But I can tell you if you are serious about your Instagram you should be buying these apps!


I use afterlight to brighten my pictures and change the contrast. It’s a very easy app to use but you should use it right. Don’t go overbord, check what looks natural.


I’m sure you’ve heard of it. People have been talking a lot about facetune, how it can change your face, body shape and so on. But that’s not really what I use it for, I just use it for it’s whitening tool and smoothening. That’s kind of it.


The camera

No one likes blurry, granny photos.. That’s why you need to use a good camera. It doesn’t have to be the most fancy and expensive thing out there. It can just be your phone or a camera that can shoot manual, or at least change the brightness.

I use my sonny a5000 with different lenses. Mostly I just use the pancake lens. But I do change to a zoom lens when I’m taking outfit shots for the blurry background.

I also use my iPhone 7 plus camera, with is pretty amazing on it’s own to be honest. You could totally build a following with just your phone camera! I just needed something with a bit more settings. Aka I became a bit of a camera snob

The grid

I use the grid app. It’s free and let’s you plan your feed. This is  so importent! When people see your page they should see a constant flow. Everything should look cohesive.

The pictures

There are a lot of different types of pictures you can take. Let me go true all of them and tell you everything I know.


The outfit of the day is a blogger must. It’s showcasing everything you are wearing from top to bottom. These pictures can be taken anywhere and everywhere. Just remember to keep your head up and stand tall. Stay close to the camera, people like to see the subject.

Also practice makes perfect. I know you don’t want to hear me say it but outfit pictures become better when you learn how to pose for them. Honestly it’s just finding what makes you comfortable and keeping it consistent. If you feel better smiling do it, if it’s not your thing then don’t. But keep it consistent!

Now a modelling tip you guys might like. Always put one fut a little bit to the front and lean on your back leg. It will make look taller and thinner


I wrote a blogpost about it hire but I can tell you just that little bit more. Flatlays don’t have to be taken on a flat table.  You should be playing with detention. I like putting stuff on the bad, on the floor and all around me. It creates movement. But again this is something you need to practice. It doesn’t just happen on it’s own.


There is a right and wrong here. Anyone that tells you there isn’t is laying! Make your buildings go with your outfit. Let me explain. Let’s say I’m wearing a red top, I will post a building ar scenery with something red in it, just to make the outfit pop.

If you are into the minimal backgrounds, a white wall can always be great. Even just a simple sentry with not to much going on can give you that minimal ecstatic.


Talk to people! I know this might sound really stupid but engage with people. I always go into my hashtags and comment on the popular pictures If I see someone with a fun profile photo commenting on my picture,  I will check out their page! Just out of curiosity and sometimes I can end up following them.

Geo Tag

Always Geo Tag, Don’t go all crapy and geo tag your house but geo tagging places you’ve been is key. Restaurants, starbucks, uni, the mall… all perfect places to geo tag. And don’t be stupid and geo tag when you are at the location! Safety first.


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How to get your shit together and learn to actually be an adult

  how to be an adult

This past year I’ve changed a lot. In a good way if I do say so myself.  I’ve learned how to calm down and be way more rational. So basically I got my shit together.

Not rushing

Do you know those times when you are trying to put on your shoos but it’s just not happening? Chances are you are in such a rush you are not focust. This used to happen to me all the time.

I always try to stay calm even if I am late to thing. There’s no need to make yourself crazy and get that unnecessary adrenalin rush. Instead I just stay calm and think about what I need to do. Trust me this takes less time.

Listening to people

I love being right. But recently I’ve learned that everyone has something relevant to say. Don’t ever look down on people. I learn so much form listening to others, you would be surprised to hear the knowledge people have.

The other day my little brother taught me how to send snapchat videos to Instagram. That’s just an example of one of the things I would not have known if I didn’t listen.


You know I am going to bring up philosophy any time I can. But this is something that truly helped me grow as a person.

You are in charge of your own being and that’s so powerful. If I am not happy with something or in a bad mood I just sit down and think about it. At the end of  the day I am making the unconscious decision to have a bad day. So I can change it just by using my thoughts.

It might seem odd to you but I would tell everyone to take a philosophy class or read a book. But if that isn’t really your cup of tea or you just don’t have the time. Here is a free youtube serie you can watch and learn about the world around you.

Have fun

This is one thing we all forget to do once in a while. I realised I don’t need to be productive and working every minute of the day. Sometimes it’s enough to just sit and relax. There’s really nothing wrong with that. How to be an adult is relative guys. Just be happy when doing it.


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How to live a positive and meaningful life

This has been one of the biggest pitfalls in my life. It’s a very dark journey. Finding the things you love and being happy. It took me a long time to actually smile and look forward to things.

I’m a pessimistic person by nature. So giving myself that extra boots can make the biggest difference.

Be passionate

Even if it is about your outfit in the morning. Having a passion for something is the key to happiness for me. Yes, it’s also the source of stress and turmoil but those emotions make you appreciate it. I love my blog and do everything to create content I am proud to put out. Even if it isn’t perfect at times I do it with all my love.

Don’t care

Judgement is the wrecking ball to all your dreams. I’m not going to say you should’t care. But sometimes you should live in your own little bubble. To me my little bubble is turning of my phone when I am with my friends. Pretending it doesn’t exist or listening to a lecture without all the crazy notifications lighting up my screen.

Short term vs long term

Having long term goals is great. You should have long term goals but it’s the little things that make life worth it. Even if it is having a cup of coffee in the morning. All those little things can really make your day. I start smiling when I smell flowers in the morning or get a text from my best friend. I feel like we take all those little things for granted. Because we are in a world where everything goes so fast but there are times you should sit down and think. Sometimes I can just sit and look outside thinking about what I can do next to make everything better and more amazing. Reflection is key to a happy and calm life

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How to pull of white jeans like a boss

White jeans

My love for white jeans has always been a thing. As a kid I had a pear of military white jeans I wore in the snow. I remember all the girls turning heads and just looking at me with fear in there eyes. Giving me the shuttle hit that white pants are only acceptable in summer. I am hear to tell you that that’s not true! White pants can be worn whenever and however you want them. Just remember to do it right and as you guessed it, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve.

Know your size

I know this is pretty obvious but seriously know your size ladies. I had a hard time with this myself. Finding jeans that fit perfect isn’t easy so don’t expect to find the perfect ones that one time you go shopping. It takes me forever to go jeans shopping and that’s okay! I like taking my time to walk out of the store completely satisfied.

And ask for help. I was that person to afraid to ask for help form anyone. Honestly the people in the store are there to help you. In whatever store you are going to, Channel or H&M they are basically doing the same job. So if you can’t find what you want ASK.


You know I needed to say this. But I am never ever going to walk out the door wearing white jeans and red underwear. I mean that’s kind of obvious but I know sometimes when you are in a hurry you forget. Just remember to actually wear nude or white underwear when you’re wearing white jeans seriously. TMI but I got your back.


This is a rule for the less adventurous fashionistas who aren’t going to go monochrome just jet. Believe me I hear you. Try to wear a dark top to balance out the outfit. It looks way more put together trust me.

And for all the ladies with the bigger boobs, it makes everything look in proportion with is exactly what you want. I like wearing darker tops for exactly that reason even if I have a hourglass figure you know I am bigger up there.

Long coat

For the girls with the big butts. Or people like me who think they have a big butt… Let’s not talk about that shall we. Anyway wearing a long coat over a pair of white pants can give that extra inch of sophistication and actually make you feel better about my butt. I feel like it adds some class to an otherwise casual outfit.

If you are on the shorter side, long coats actually make you look a lot taller too. I know, I am pretty tall but I like looking even taller…


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How to do your eyebrows in under 3 minutes

Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

Drawing eyebrows

It has always been a pain trying to do my eyebrows. They have to look natural but also be apparent enough so they frame my face.

And you guys my think it is very easy and, and yes it is if you have the time to actually sit with a pencil and draw. Obviously I don’t have that much time in the morning. Honestly I’m not that patient ether.

So I found the product to salve all my morning issue. And it’s price of €12 is also very helpful. The l’Oréal Brow Artist Plumper has been a true time saver for me. I have known about this product for almost a year but I have been using it totally wrong. And I’ll explain way.

My hair colour

For the most of last year I had braids. Always darker then my real hair colour. Honestly so I didn’t have to deal with the eyebrow issue and this product worked fantastic. Because I was using the beginning of the brush to darken my eyebrows. But when I removed my braids the colour just didn’t work so I stopped using this it and started using a powered that worked but took forever and mess-ups where inevitable.

The brush

The trick to using this is to ‘shade’ it right, this sounds kind of complicated but I’ll explain. When you apply the product don’t use the beginning of the brush. It always has access and makes your eyebrows look way darker.

Be gentle

Don’t rub it on because the colour will be uneven and look very odd. Instead take your time and be gentle because it really only takes one streak! And the more you stress the longer things take, do them right and with nations the first time!

Cotton pads

The best friend in every girls beauty case. This is also very impotent to get the colour down. Just use a cotton pad to bland and the colour will look perfect. Just do it evenly!



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Look expensive all the time

Look expensive

Let’s face it we all want to look expensive some times. Even if it is just to impress someone. Not because it’s your ultimate goal in life or whatever but just because you can.

Inch of skin

This is what I love about people like Taylor Swift. Not showing to much but just enough to be sexy and expensive. Showing to much skin can make you look really cheap really quickly.

Plane and simple

Keeping things simple can make you look expensive. The plainer the better, end the better the fabric, even more amazing! Don’t where crazy prints if you want to look expensive. Think about it all the t-shirts with the big logos just scream in your face when really expensive things have the table on the inside.


It’s all about the details. Even if my dress is from zara and my coat from H&M, I paid close attention to details. The coats is made form a luxurious feeling fabric that is so soft and snuggly. Lace details make the dress look way more expensive then it actually is.

Same thing with the shoes. You guys know how I feel about suede shoes and my fear of them getting ruined. To be honest maybe I’ll get a designer pair in the future… We will see haha. But these where only €20 in the sale I mean come on!!!! that’s just amazing.

Mix with designer

This is totally optional but I love doing this. Mixing my high street with my designer pieces. My designer bag and scarf really dress up my outfit and give it that up scale vibe. I just love doing that to looks. Not everything needs to be designer honestly no one can afford that and the people that can don’t even do it. Even stars like Beyoncé wear clothes from zara and H&M as long as you know what you should buy expensive and what you should buy cheap you will always you expensive!




photography Molly Winckelmans (instagram @mollysartmove)


boots – closeup shop

scarf – burberry

bag – lancel

dress – zara

coat – h&m



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social anxiety: being afraid of being misunderstoud

social anxiety

It’s 1 am and let’s just state the obvious. I am a total crazy person for coming on my blog at this time of day. And yes, I have to wake up at 7am. I know I am out of my mind.

But I’ve had a really bad day and I just felt like talking about it. Today I had a conversation with my teacher as you do. He just stated the obvious, I am not really social. I mean shocker I am typing on my computer instead of calling a friends…  But that’s besides the point.

past experiences

I just realised I am so anti social that I really close myself off. It’s scary to see that I have become a person that who isn’t part of the world around me. Not being involved with any school activities.  I am a senior and because of my past school experiences and it seems like I just can’t let it go.

Staying away to avoid rejection or conflict just seems like the best option.  When I talk to people outside my academic environment specifically I feel like I am not being judged on my intellectual intelligence.

I feel more comfortable using vocabulary I normally would and don’t really care and don’t feel any social anxiety.  Daily I notice myself thinking twice about every single word I use trying my hardest to fit into the box that is the micro society of my classroom and failing miserably.

in my school

By nature I am an outspoken person but I started to stutter specific in my class and I built this from of anxiety towards everyone. And no one is to blame for this the people in my year are really nice I feel like I have just become this way towards them and I really don’t know why. It truly scars me.

I know this will pass and it’s just something I am going true at the moment but I started to question a lot lately. And the deeper I get into this the more I am trying to find myself as a person I suppose.

Tell me if any of you guys are experiencing social anxiety and give me some tips!


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How to stand up for yourself and be assertive

Being assertive

One of the most importent skills you’ll ever learn is being assertive  And it’s a skill I had to learn very young. I used to have kids bully me all the time like most. And yes that’s normal. But one thing I can tell you now, jus because you are an adult now doesn’t mean it will stop. Now you will have to stand up for yourself agains adults. And trust me you can’t be going around pushing everyone anymore like in kinder garden! So you will have to be assertive and I am here to tell you how.

Something happend this passed weekend and if you follow me on snapchat or instagram you already know the story. Basically someone has just been making comments on me and I realised that I never really told you guys how I deal with this now.

Is it worth your time?

If I would stand up for myself every time someone made a comment I don’t think I would ever do anything els in my life. Sometimes you just need thick skin and let it slide. Not everyone is worth your time.  Honestly the people that shout out comment at you on the street are not the smartest people and aren’t the ones to fight with.

Those are the people you write blogposts about and just say thank you too because they basically gave you a great idea. And if you are Taylor Swift you can smile it off with a grammy.

Don’t be violent

This is hard for me to be honest. As a child I always had to fight back because kids used to try to beat me up. Let’s just say I will never be Gandhi. I used to be a pretty violent person even if I am very good with words. I can discuss and explain myself very well but when I was younger people never understood me. So I stopped trying. Now when I feel like resulting into violence or getting mad I talk to people or I remove myself from the situation. Be the bigger person, don’t be an idiot and get yourself into fights just because someone is provoking you!

Talk to the person

This is where being assertive comes into play. I try to talk to people when they are making comments about me. But you have to do it the right way. And it’s not easy to distinguish the different types of people out there.

Some people don’t even think they are offending you and just talking to them can solve the problem. The people that keep making comments sometimes just need a nice person. I am always nice to the people that make comments to me and it trows them off gard. They don’t really understand why I am being nice. Doing things like opening the door for them or waving to them after they made a comment makes them wonder.



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Why Talking to yourself can benefit your producivity

Talking to yourself

Let me just say it, I talk to myself, a lot. When I was younger people used to think I was crazy. I would lock my door and read to myself, afterwards I would tell myself what I read. It sounds odd but that is how I used to learn.

Denying it

I used to try my hardest not to do it. My grades went down dramatically from not talking to myself and not saying things out loud. It was not done so I didn’t do it. My teachers always told me to make summaries and write things down. Even if I still make summaries and write down what I am learning I don’t spend that much time making things look pretty and neat as I used to. When people think productivity and learning they always think you should be sitting behind a desk and that just doesn’t work for everyone.

The truth

There’s nothing wrong with talking to yourself. Lot’s of studies have proven that taking to yourself is great for your memory (here just to prove a point). The most brilliant minds like Einstein talked to themselves so why can’t we? Our auditorial memory is a great tool to use so let’s use it.

How I study now

Now I am not shy to walk out of a room and study. Up to the beginning of this year I was shy to study this way and thought I was abnormal. Now I walk out of class and just run true the halls revising my papers out loud. It might sound odd but I detest sitting down so I don’t anymore and it’s the best decision I have ever made.

So tell me how do you learn, and do you talk to yourself?

And O ya share this article if you like it and don’t forget to be awesome 🙂


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