How to stand up for yourself and be assertive

Being assertive

One of the most importent skills you’ll ever learn is being assertive  And it’s a skill I had to learn very young. I used to have kids bully me all the time like most. And yes that’s normal. But one thing I can tell you now, jus because you are an adult now doesn’t mean it will stop. Now you will have to stand up for yourself agains adults. And trust me you can’t be going around pushing everyone anymore like in kinder garden! So you will have to be assertive and I am here to tell you how.

Something happend this passed weekend and if you follow me on snapchat or instagram you already know the story. Basically someone has just been making comments on me and I realised that I never really told you guys how I deal with this now.

Is it worth your time?

If I would stand up for myself every time someone made a comment I don’t think I would ever do anything els in my life. Sometimes you just need thick skin and let it slide. Not everyone is worth your time.  Honestly the people that shout out comment at you on the street are not the smartest people and aren’t the ones to fight with.

Those are the people you write blogposts about and just say thank you too because they basically gave you a great idea. And if you are Taylor Swift you can smile it off with a grammy.

Don’t be violent

This is hard for me to be honest. As a child I always had to fight back because kids used to try to beat me up. Let’s just say I will never be Gandhi. I used to be a pretty violent person even if I am very good with words. I can discuss and explain myself very well but when I was younger people never understood me. So I stopped trying. Now when I feel like resulting into violence or getting mad I talk to people or I remove myself from the situation. Be the bigger person, don’t be an idiot and get yourself into fights just because someone is provoking you!

Talk to the person

This is where being assertive comes into play. I try to talk to people when they are making comments about me. But you have to do it the right way. And it’s not easy to distinguish the different types of people out there.

Some people don’t even think they are offending you and just talking to them can solve the problem. The people that keep making comments sometimes just need a nice person. I am always nice to the people that make comments to me and it trows them off gard. They don’t really understand why I am being nice. Doing things like opening the door for them or waving to them after they made a comment makes them wonder.



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I slept in Michel Jacksons bed


picture from

You are reading this right. Your girl slept in the bad of The king of pop. Yep that’s write and let me explain.

God bless England

So my mum and I went on vacation to Zimbabwe. And as always we had to pass true England. And our flight was cancelled. BTW I was like 6, this is very importent for the story. We went to an airline (don’t want to get sued) and being the annoying child I was I started complaining to my mom.  And the customs heard me… They where not too pleased until they saw me. Let’s just say I was a very cute kid. Non of those good looks left today but ya. They felt really bad for us so they gave us money. What those my little ass do, I perswaded  my mum to go and buy me a fucking tinker bell dress for £50. That was a LOT of money back in the day.


So we slept in the airport. And I complained that it wasn’t comfortable and so on… Then we finally got in Zimbabwe, had our holiday. And guess what happens??? Our flight gets delayed again. As usual I cry and act as if my life depended on it. The lovely people at the airline (you probably know the airline if you know England I mean..)  let us stay in a 5 star hotel named Meikles.


I told you guys I was the princess of drama well here you go… Me and my mum went to the beautiful hotel. The guy on the front desk called me princess and I started pretending I was. I said I was the princess of Belgium :D! And we got the PRESIDENTIAL SUIT. Where Michel Jackson actually slept. BTW I did steal all the snipers and everything out of the mini bar thank you airline I shall not name.

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listen to people to be a better learner


It’s been like forever since I’ve written a diary post. I know it’s been only a couple of days. Someone is bound to get tired of me. But fuck it I’m just feeling like writing haha.

I’ve learned a very valuable lesson a couple of days back. Although I am shy, I love being right. I love arguing to get  my point accrues. If I feel like I’m right this new person comes out of me. I’ve got a Beyoncé in me when it  comes to arguing haha.

But one thing I forgot to do along the way is just take the time to listen to others. I’m not all up in my own business. But it’s really been helpful to just take the time and look around and see what others are doing and thinking.

These past years, I lost that observant part of me. I forgot it was there, I guess. By going to a monolog about Socrates I realised that listening is so powerful. Taking the time and just looking at other peoples views gives us such a good understanding of the world.

Taking to a 5 year old or a 50 year old, every person knows something you don’t. And I just love taking the time to think about that. If we stop listening we stop learning,  and my problem clicked. I was having a hard time grasping other peoples ideas and thoughts.  I just wasn’t really listening and opening myself up to their ideas.

Always start a conversation with an open mind.

That’s been one thing I just forgot to do and it has helped me so much. I’ve noticed that just looking at things from different perspectives is giving me the best learning experience.

Tell me how you feel about listening and observing. Are you a listener?

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Blogger Advice: taking pictures and photography tips

Blogger advice

Blog photography is a job on it’s own and man have I had a hard time learning. I still to this day am so bad at taking pictures in my own opinion. I feel like it’s a hard struggle, and we have a lot of competition these days.

Stock photo’s

You can get free picots online. I found an article about where you can get them a couple of days ago here. Personally I try not to use these pictures. Even if they are better quality then mine most of the time. I feel like I want to bring content as original as possible.

And I am so sorry this part of my blog doesn’t have pictures. I will be taking those this weekend. This diary thing wasn’t really planed btw.

If you are all about the writing and not really into photography I think it’s fine to use these sites. I don’t see any problem with using pictures as long as you give credit.

How I take my pictures

I could write a full post about this if you want me to but let me just give you some tips. The internet is full of information and I love google. It has been my photography teacher for the past year. Don’t blame google I am a slow learner haha.

BTW I use an iPhone 7 plus for all my pictures, yes I should get a camera…

Anyway I take 2 types of blog photos

Outfit shots

When taking outfit shots, know you angles! I know I sound like a Kardashian but it works I swear. I know exactly how I should be posing. It does help that I am a model, not going to lie but before I learned to pose by watching bloggers. Follow the big accounts on instagram and you will learn. I promise!


If you have been hanging around for some time you know how I feel about flatlay’s I even wrote a full post about them here.

If this post was helpful pleas tell me and don’t forget to comment. Aka don’t be a stranger 🙂


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Blogger advice, don’t obsess over your followers

Blogger advice

The best decision I have made for my stress levels. It truly is amazing how obsessed I was with gaining followers. We all say it’s not about the numbers. But after some time it becomes a numbers game.” I do it for the love, waiting on the gold rush” like Ed Sheehan said.

I was talking to a friend and he was telling me that I am the one who decides. I hit that publish button and sometimes I lose sight of that. Sometimes I just write what is trending when in reality my posts that are just me being me get way more views.

Remembering why I love blogging

I can tell you that their have been times I have obsessed over followers. I don’t check my stats and how many people read my blog anymore. Just because I am doing it for the love and hoping for the best. That’s why you are getting these raw uncut opinions with all the weirdness I have.  I started this blog because I love to write and I am not losing that part of me.

Don’t worry

If you are putting good content out there that people can find. This means you should check your SEO and have tags! People will come and I am slowly realising that. Good content will be shared. I don’t sit and complain about all the marketing. Yes, I recommend doing your research and knowing what you are doing. But it’s about you, it isn’t some company ran by a man in a suit.

If you like these blogger advice posts please tell me and I will write more of them 🙂


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Monday motivation: A video that made me think

Monday motivation

Today has been en interesting day for me. I just went vegan a couple of days ago. BTW all on my twitter page… Yes my promo is seamless haha.

I have not had the greatest day to be honest. Feeling kind of sluggish because my body is still adjusting and honestly, I just had an off day. Like most of us. But instead of just complaining like I usually do.

Motivational speech

I went on youtube to check for a speech to motivate me. Just to get that “kick under my ass” as we would say in Dutch. So naturally I gravitated to youtube.  I found a very cool video that really got me to get my day a little more in check. I really suggest checking out this video. Maybe it is helpful to you too.



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My place in the blogging world

As some of you may have seen. My blog is changing constantly. I’m trying to find my right spot in the community.

It’s not easy

I’ve got a lot of interests as a person. I love learning a lot and sharing my thoughts. But lately I’ve grown out of some topics I used to share. Honestly I never focus on my audience. Only now I am taking the time to think about it.

I just went true my old posts and I found out that more then half of my blog is about productivity and self love. Those are the things I love writing about and that’s what I will be sharing.

Fashion and Beauty

Those topics are not going anywhere. I love them both so much and I love writing about them. I am not changing that part of me, EVER. But I feel like there is more to me then just that and this year you’ll be seeing more of that side of me.

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Bye bye headphone jack, and everything els on the iPhone 7

The iPhone has just been announced and we are all already exited to upgrade. But is it worth it.


Finally we won’t be looking at those awful antenna bands anymore. And of course Apple has added new colours. Not only do we have black, we also have true black. This is a beautiful black glossy finish. If James Bond had an iPhone it would be in true black.


Yes a better battery,  we all have been waiting for this for ever! According to Apple we will be getting 2 hours of more battery.


The camera is probably the best thing for these iPhones. The iPhone 7 plus will be amazing and can take blurry background photos, finally. This will be amazing for anyone starting out with blogging to get those amazing photos. We will also expect better low light performance, for all your instagram club photos. Now everyone will see how wasted your really are LOL.

The front facing camera will finally get an upgrade. This will mean better selfies!

The home button

The home button will be force sensitive with doesn’t seam very important to be honest. We will be having force tough so it all depends on how the software will be making use of this feature.

Water and dust resistent

This is something we have been expecting. But we don’t know how well the iPhone actually will be with water. Can you use it in the shower now? We can only wait and see to find out how well Apple really did in this department. BTW just watch the torches tests on youtube once the iPhone comes out.

Stereo speakers

This is pretty exiting. I can not tell you how many times I wanted to just play a song on my  iPhone but no one could hear it. Hopefully these speakers will change the game when it comes to sharing music.

Bye headphone jack 

Yes we all new it,  apple removed the headphone jack. But at least we got an adaptor to ease the pain. That’s not all, apple finally announced the airpots. The price for these is ridiculous. They are $159… Will they actually be worth the money?


If you want a better camera I would go for an upgrade to the iPhone 7plus otherwise I would wait for the 10th iPhone.

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What's apples future, will the empire rise or fall

Let’s face it, Apple is not doing that good on market shares. Will Apple lose it’s glory to it’s competitors and fall again?

We can all agree that after Steve Jobs death Apple changed a lot as a company. Remember Jobs saying they would never ever make a 7″ iPad… Although change can be good the core values of Apple changed in my opinion. It’s not about the product and the innovation but about how much money they can get in there pocket.

And then we haven’t even talked about innovation. We used to buy Apple because it was new and different. They had things other companies didn’t have, but now they are playing catch up

I’m an Apple fan girl to be honest. Everything I own is Apple because of it’s user friendly interface. And honestly out of laziness, don’t get me wrong but when I had android back in the day.

Back in the day Apple had lots to offer but now they aren’t coming up with anything we really need. Non of us need a newer faster phone every year. Trust me i’m using my iPhone 5 at the moment and honestly it does what it should. And thats the same story with the iPad, Apple hasn’t given me any reason to upgrade. I hope that they will really do something extraordinary this year.



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My favourite tv shows 

 It’s like 2012 in my living room I just got Netflix. And I think I’m in love. This is my short list of shows I don’t ever miss an episode of. 

The Big Bang theory 

I’m a nerd at heart. I went to watch Star Wars twice and watching the Big Bang theory makes me feel so much better. It’s funny, it’s amazing it’s got nerds and makes me feel like I can get a really hot guy. (Thanks Leonard)

Pretty little liars 

This is not just a show it’s another word. You have know idea how amazing I think this show is. There are hot guys and mistery and it’s scary enough to make others people watch it with you. 

Gossip girl

This is every fashion lovers best bet. I wish I could live in the closet of blare. I can not explain how much this show has done for my style.

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