” A Fear I always had “
It’s the middle of the exam period and I am getting to know myself and my fear(s) better then ever. Even-though it seems like a questionable time to go on an emotional fishing expedition. But I feel like I’m not the only one who’s going true the motions right now.
When I was in high school I never wanted to put my all into anything. I would always leave some room for questioning myself and if things went wrong, I could blame myself. It’s the definition of a self fulfilling prophesy.
If the outside world told me I couldn’t do something despite of my parents attempts of telling me I was good enough, I would do a lot and then just crash and quite. Not because I am a quitter, because I am and always will be a perfectionist.
When I do something and give my all, I get this lingering feeling that I am going to fall. Especially with my blog I have a bad habit of starting a post and reading it and wondering if it would be good enough and never being happy with my achievements.
I only realized now that I have become to afraid to do anything and stick to it. In a society based on achievement and a negative feeling towards feeling it’s hard not to feel this way. But at the end of the day trying is part of achieving and not being afraid to fall is one of those things thats part of becoming better.
” Make It Happen”
I’m admitting that I’ve been afraid of giving things my all and I’m learning to do so more and more. I love the I idea of “making it happen”. It’s trying to get somewhere and trying to do all you can.
I am sharing this post because I felt quite alone in this feeling and I want other people to know that it’s okay to be afraid but it’s not okay to let fear hold you back.