social anxiety: being afraid of being misunderstoud

social anxiety

It’s 1 am and let’s just state the obvious. I am a total crazy person for coming on my blog at this time of day. And yes, I have to wake up at 7am. I know I am out of my mind.

But I’ve had a really bad day and I just felt like talking about it. Today I had a conversation with my teacher as you do. He just stated the obvious, I am not really social. I mean shocker I am typing on my computer instead of calling a friends…  But that’s besides the point.

past experiences

I just realised I am so anti social that I really close myself off. It’s scary to see that I have become a person that who isn’t part of the world around me. Not being involved with any school activities.  I am a senior and because of my past school experiences and it seems like I just can’t let it go.

Staying away to avoid rejection or conflict just seems like the best option.  When I talk to people outside my academic environment specifically I feel like I am not being judged on my intellectual intelligence.

I feel more comfortable using vocabulary I normally would and don’t really care and don’t feel any social anxiety.  Daily I notice myself thinking twice about every single word I use trying my hardest to fit into the box that is the micro society of my classroom and failing miserably.

in my school

By nature I am an outspoken person but I started to stutter specific in my class and I built this from of anxiety towards everyone. And no one is to blame for this the people in my year are really nice I feel like I have just become this way towards them and I really don’t know why. It truly scars me.

I know this will pass and it’s just something I am going true at the moment but I started to question a lot lately. And the deeper I get into this the more I am trying to find myself as a person I suppose.

Tell me if any of you guys are experiencing social anxiety and give me some tips!

XOXO Lisa

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